Public announcement.

Hello everybody! I know a few people around here have CNY Fertility as a backup option. I would like to let you know that the current waiting time for the initial consultation (either in person or by phone) is about 4 months. So plan ahead and be prepared 🙂

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No No No

Guess who is NOT pregnant?

I wasn’t able to wait and I tested last night. And then again this morning. And then again with the digital test that I’ve been saving for over a year for my first BFP (that never happened). So there it is, good bye hope.

My husband never has a reaction to the negative tests. So it is a little bit lonely when I get the non-surprising news. I hold it together, but as soon as I got into my car this morning, I started crying. I didn’t know it was possible to mourn a baby that didn’t exist…

We can’t afford to do another IUI this coming cycle, so back to timed intercourse…

PS: I took a picture of the “not pregnant” digital test, but I decided that this post is sad enough as it is…

To test or not to test.

Tomorrow will be two weeks since we did the IUI. My expected period day is on Thursday. I don’t know if I should test tomorrow or wait until Thursday. I’m actually surprised that I’ve waited so long. Is the 1st time I’m able to control myself.

I think that is because a part of me wants to hold on to the hope for a little bit longer and I’m avoiding the disappointment… Last night I had a recurrent dream that the pregnancy test was negative… But I’ve dream that I’m pregnant so many times, that now I don’t trust my dreams.

This is hard. I’m so afraid of another negative.

TWW, I don’t like you.

This part is not fun. I was doing OK, but now I’m 7DPO and I know this is the part where implantation may or may not occur, so of course I started symptom-spotting, and we all know that is not good.

I’m happy that tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I don’t have to come back to work until Monday. Hopefully the holiday and Luna will keep me busy.

First IUI.

So yesterday was our first IUI. We woke up early, had breakfast and then proceed to take DH’s sample. We rushed to the doctor, and we made it on time. They took the sample and told us to wait in the lobby.

After 50 minutes more or less, they called us for the procedure. The nurse asked me to verify the information and to lay down. The first speculum was too big, so she had to change it. After that, she had a little bit of trouble find it my cervix (my uterus is retroverted), and I had to cough a few times. Then, she cleaned the area with some huge Q-Tips. And then, she slowly inserted the catheter with the semen.

She said that I didn’t need to lay down for 15 minutes, that it doesn’t make any difference. I was confused because everything that I read said that. She told me that we had the room for as long as we needed it, so I was welcomed to lay down. But after 5 minutes I figured she must know more than me, and I got dressed. My husband went to work, and I came to mine.

The first hour was uneventful. Then I started to have pain, lots of pain. I had pain in my ovaries, my abdomen, and parts of my body that I don’t know how to describe. By the time I left my work, I had pain even walking. I’m going to assume that it was ovulation pain because of all the medicines. I took it easy yesterday night, and by today, the pain is so much better. It went from 8 to 4 in the morning. By now, is like a 2.

So now we just have to wait and pray.

Hi Ovidrel, nice to meet you!

As I mentioned before, we are doing our first IUI this month. I took 7.5 mg of Letrozole instead of the usual 5 mg. I went to my ultrasound on CD2. Yesterday I went to my ultrasound on CD12. The good/bad thing about my clinic is that they don’t explain anything to you. They don’t tell you how many follicles you have, the size, your uterus lining, they just give you the OK. That is good because is intended to make you feel safe and taken care of, to take the pressure away. That is bad because I like to know and understand everything.

I do know that I have four follicles on my left side and that two of them are longer than 18 mm. According to Doctor Google, that is a good thing. Yesterday afternoon they called me to let me know that I was good to go (no idea about my uterus lining) and to go ahead and take the Ovidrel shot between 8 – 10 pm in my belly. The Ovidrel shot is pretty expensive. My insurance doesn’t cover it, and it costs around $215. With the help of my friend GoodRx.com, I purchased it at $167 and a few cents.

When DH got home, I told him that we have the appointment for tomorrow and that he was going to have to give a sample at the doctor’s office. He got pretty upset when I told him that I probably wasn’t going to be allowed in the room with him. So, I got upset with him. We went to Costco without talking about it anymore (we had my stepson with us) and by the time we got home, it was shot time.

I asked him to inject me because I didn’t think I would be able to do it myself. To be honest, it was pretty quick and painless. I was more concerned about damaging our very expensive medicine. Hopefully, those two follicles are growing as I write, and we’ll see what happens tomorrow. Although I know the success rate is less than 20%, we have been trying for so long, that I’m happy to take the next step in our journey.

I called the clinic today, and my DH can do the sample at home, so he is happy about that.

More Letrozole.

Hi all! If you thought Letrozole 5 mg was bad, try 7.5 mg. The hot flashes are so bad now, that I’m a melting pot. And I don’t know about other people, but my hot flashes usually come at night, when the house is cold and my hubby is all cozy.

We are going to try to do our first IUI this month. I’m extremely scared, because the success rate is really low, and it is an expensive procedure for us. We can’t afford to do another one in at least 6 months. And after so many disappointments, it’s really hard to be positive.